I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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