Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
