I am puke
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
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This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
third nipple confirmed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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