We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
