how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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