I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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