So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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