what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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