My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize