Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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