White coat. Heels.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
