Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Say something about gay babies.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just found puke in my bra..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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