Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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