Soap is not a condiment
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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