How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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