I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
