Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
