then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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