i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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