how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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