I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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