im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish i was in the wii world.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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