all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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