it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
