seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
