would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
