Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
