Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize