Swine flu. Run for my life!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
