Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
