No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
