tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
