He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
