my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
