I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
