Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
