Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
