why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
