tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
