She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cockslap morals
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
