yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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