Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
