Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize