I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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