Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
