Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
