some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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