You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize