I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize