It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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