I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
