Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
