i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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