ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
