just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
did you just send me my own nude
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
