She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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