yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
