This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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