you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize