i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
