Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
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He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.