I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
