Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
