Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
