Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
