yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Randomize
