Why are handjobs necessary in class?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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