He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
