you guys were way drunker than both of me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
