can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
