Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
