we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
