the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If that was your dad, he is hot
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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