You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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